I just wanna make stuff

2024/10/05

I just wanna make stuff
make something cool
interesting
thoughtful
fun

and I have so many ideas
of things I wanna make
and I start on them
and everything is perfect
I’m having fun
doing something meaningful
feeling productive

and then

I have another idea
and this idea
well I wanna make it more
so I start on it
and everything is perfect
I’m having fun
doing something meaningful
feeling productive

and then

I have another idea
and this idea
well I wanna make it more
so I start on it
and everything is pretty good
I’m having fun
doing something meaningful
but the two unfinished things weigh on me
I begin to lose motivation
I’m never gonna finish this project either
so why should I even try?

I’m stuck in a loop
a cycle
and I don’t know how to break out

My ADHD prevents me from staying interested in a project for longer than a week
But I have big dreams!
I wanna make big stuff!
I WANT TO MAKE A CHANGE IN THE WORLD
I WANT TO HAVE HAD AN IMPACT
I WANT TO LOOK BACK AND HAVE SOMETHING I’M GENUINELY PROUD OF
LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE
MAKING STUFF THAT CHANGES THE WORLD
THAT HAS AN IMPACT ON ME
THAT THEY ARE PROUD OF

and then there’s me.
a website with an empty projects section.
one small experiment.
tens of incomplete github repos.
way more projects that i haven’t bothered putting online.

how do i stop this?
how do i make stuff i’m proud of?
how do i break out of the loop?