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2024/08/13

Someday I’m going to die. Maybe it will be in 80 years, maybe it will be tomorrow. I don’t know.

And that uncertainty is scary. Because I like living! I have so many things I want to do! I don’t know how much I’m going to be able to get done in my life. How many of my dreams will never be fulfilled. And sure, I can “take life one day at a time” or “focus on the things that really matter” or whatever proverbial oversimplification you want to repeat.

But of course, nothing can truly be summarized in a few words.

I don’t know exactly what’s most important to me. I don’t know how to accomplish the things that are. I don’t know if I have enough time left. I don’t know if I’ll even still be interested 2 months later (screw you ADHD)

Ironically, these uncertainties act as roadblocks as well. Not knowing is scary and it makes it harder to actually get things accomplished. If I didn’t spend so much time worrying about how much time I have, I would have more time. It’s irrational and illogical and stupid. But hey, I’m human. Humans can be irrational and illogical and stupid.